Dating can be a scary experience, especially in a world that seems to be getting further and further away from face to face communication. With the onslaught of social media, it can be hard not to judge or be judged by someone solely based on their social profile. However, if you’re lucky enough to get a first date with that person you’ve been eyeing, make sure to avoid the potential pitfalls that could demolish your chance of going out in the future. It is crucial to make a good impression and that is why one should always remember to relax, have fun and be yourself. Aside from the obvious turn-offs of poor hygiene, here are 10 ways you could unintentionally ruin a first date.
1. Cell Phone Abuse
Paying too much attention to your cell phone and not enough to your date is a surefire way to ruin a first impression. There is nothing worse than sitting across the table from someone, watching them play on their phone, and feeling completely ignored. Whatever Facebook message, tweet or Instagram that is buzzing on your screen can wait. Giving your date your undivided attention will not only make them feel more secure, but it will enable you to get to know that person on a deeper level. You’ll never be able to have a meaningful conversation in between texts, so leave your phone in your pocket or purse.
2. Talking about Past Relationships
Discussing details about previous relationships can ruin a good thing because it can make you sound bitter and resentful. It is much better to focus on the present than to spend time hashing out why you broke up with an ex or how many bad dates you have been on. More often than not, what happened in the past is better left in the past and instead of making conversation with a potential companion, you might end up revealing more about yourself than you intended.
While most people envision themselves marrying someone successful and hardworking, bragging about your accomplishments can be a huge turnoff for a potential mate. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance and most people don’t take lightly to someone who tries too hard to impress with details of their financial situation. It is much more important to focus on one’s personality and goals in life than to get caught up in who makes more than who.
4. Jumping the Gun
Getting ahead of yourself when talking about your future as a couple is the best way to guarantee you don’t get a second date. Remember, this is the first chance you have to get to know someone, so phrases such as “when we do this” and “when we get married” should be left out of the conversation. Not only are they terrifying for someone who might just be getting their feet wet in the dating world, but it makes you sound desperate.
Showing up late to anything makes you look bad, but when it’s a first date, it makes it look like you just don’t care. Everyone knows that unexpected traffic and life’s emergencies can get in the way of your punctuality, so make it a point to leave early for a date and if you still aren’t going to make it on time, call to let the other person know you are on your way before you are already late. Giving them the courtesy of a head’s up will say more about your manners and less about your lack of consideration for others.
6. Coming on too Strong
Coming on too strong can not only be a huge turnoff, but it can be somewhat scary for someone who might not be into giving it up on the first date. Keep the sexual innuendo to a minimum, especially because overt sexual attraction might cloud your best judgements. More often than not, those who lay it all out on the table on the first night, lose opportunities for meaningful relationships in the future.
Nobody wants to date a Pessimistic Polly, so keep the negativity to a bare minimum. The most highly rated quality on a first date is someone’s ability to maintain a positive outlook on life, therefore, complaining, lack of gratitude and disrespect to anyone during a date is a guaranteed way to make sure the night ends early.
8. Be honest
Saying things like “I’m not looking for anything serious” and “I think we’ll make great friends” isn’t a good idea when heading out on a first date. People are expecting you to be honest and that means they are going to believe what you say. If you say you’re going to be good friends or that you aren’t interested in serious dating, more than likely you will have taken the possibility of a loving romance off the table. Be careful not to false advertise, especially because someone new in your life won’t know when not to take you seriously.
9. Lying or Exaggerating
Over-exaggerating the truth or telling lies won’t get you anywhere on a first date. The truth always seems to make its way to the surface, so start a potential relationship off on the right foot by always being honest. Even if you have a host of unbelievable stories to tell, save them for a later time when your date knows you well enough to know that you aren’t just trying to show-off.
10. Personal overload
There is a point when sharing too much information becomes just that, too much. Avoid telling your date a lot of personal information because at this point, the verdict is still out on how much you can actually trust this person.