There are possibly one hundred ways to improve your romantic relationships, but these are the 8 that are most effective. And, surprisingly, they have nothing to do with mood lighting, soul music and lingerie!
“But I talk to him/her all the time!” I hear you say, but it’s not just about talking. Improving your romantic relationships is about listening and it’s about what you talk about. The weather is a subject that will only get you so far. Try carving out fifteen minutes every other day to talk about the stuff that matters: plans, hopes, fears, developments at work and within the family. Making time to do even this will engender an atmosphere of intimacy that will help you to talk about the less pleasant stuff more easily when it’s necessary. This leads to the next point…
Keep short accounts and extend forgiveness regularly
Nothing squashes our romantic relationships harder and faster than resentment. Fights and bitterness make you want to avoid your spouse and do nothing to make them want to be with you. Arguments happen in any relationship, there’s just no way around it, but you can choose how you handle this. Don’t scream, don’t say things you don’t mean just to get your own back and don’t go to bed angry with each other. Take an hour to calm down and return to the topic with a clear head; in this way you can build up your marriage or romantic relationship, not tear it down.
Use words of affirmation regularly
The tongue is a powerful tool that can either build or break romantic relationships. If you always point out the things your spouse does to hurt or disappoint you a negative ambience will begin to surround the two of you. Try to also focus on what they do that makes you happy; tell them if they hurt you or upset you, but let them know when they’re making you proud, happy, laugh etc. A little praise and some recognition of your spouse’s good qualities will go much farther than you could possibly know.
Never stop saying, “I love you!”
You are never too busy, too old, or too mad to say the words “I love you”. Actions do speak louder, of course, but the words are so very pretty and can do wonders for our romantic relationships.
Laughter is the best medicine and studies show that couples who laugh regularly are more likely to stay together than couples who are more serious. It seems to be especially important to be able to laugh about oneself and our mistakes. Not taking things so seriously can help romantic relationships when problems arise.
Act like you are dating teenagers
The most successful romantic relationships are when you are best friends as well as lovers. Do all those things you used to when you were dating: play games, go to funny movies, see comedians and go on activity days. Not only will this give you something to talk about, but the camaraderie will create a desire to be together both inside and outside the bedroom.
Tame your thoughts
It has been said that the mind is the most sexual part of the body, and there’s certainly some merit in that. If you’re not feeling sexy then you’re not going to be in the mood for anything. Sex is one of the great joys of life so don’t think about the laundry or the dinner while you’re with your partner. Think about them.
Check your expectations
If you find that your partner seems to be continually in the bad books, you need to ask yourself something. Is it them or is it you? Is it both? Everyone comes to a romantic relationship or marriage with expectations, but if these expectations are too high they can kill the feelings you have for each other. It isn’t fair to have expectations of your spouse that you haven’t communicated to them; they won’t understand why you’re disappointed or annoyed with them when they fail to reach that benchmark. If you stop assuming and expecting and start communicating, then you will see that you are less irritated and that the feeling between you two actually improves rapidly.
If you keep these 8 guidelines in mind and act on them where necessary you are guaranteed a closer romantic relationship. However, it is up to you to do the work. Don’t wait until it is too late to start working on things! A romantic relationships are like cars, they need maintenance to keep them running smoothly.