Planning a wedding is intensive, time-consuming and requires a huge amount of decision making on your part. One of the most important choices you have to make, trumping the cake, photography, and catering all together, is your vows. The words you say to each other during the ceremony lend meaning to everything that you have done together, and everything you will experience in the future. This is your chance to set the tone for your marriage.
Not better or worse but perfect
There are certain phrases which have been in wedding vows, in one incarnation or another, for centuries. “For better or worse” is one such phrase, as is “for richer or for poorer”… but recently it has become more common to personalize your wedding vows in a way which suits the relationship you’ve had, and the goals you hope to move towards. Not everyone wants to write their own vows, however, so weigh up the pros and cons of the traditional route as well.
Vows from the heart
The first thing you have to decide is whether or not you are both willing and able to write vows for your big day. If the idea really only appeals to one of you, then it might be best to stick to the traditional vows. If you’re both on board, however, you should contact your wedding officiant to make sure that you’ll get approval from the clergy (if your wedding is a religious one). Some religions are strict on what can and cannot be said, but most won’t mind a little bit of personalization.
Most non-denominational ceremonies are entirely open to personalized vows. Whether these are short and fun, silly and sweet, or heartfelt and poetic these vows will represent your relationship. Read on for the pros and cons of writing your own vows;
The Pros
- Your wedding ceremony will be memorable and have a personal feel
- You will be expressing your love and commitment in a creative manner that allows you to really think about all the things you love about each other.
- Your guests will enjoy the differentiation from every other wedding they’ve attended.
- Your personalized wedding vows will how your guests a side of you and your spouse that they may never have seen before.
The Cons
- If one of you has a way with words, and the other doesn’t really it can be awkward or hard for the person who isn’t a lingual whizz.
- You may not agree on which tone you wish to set; if one wants pure romance and the other goes for the laughs it can cause friction.
- If you have an issue with speaking in front of crowds, it could be much, much worse having to do it with vows of your own.
